It may not be fair, and has certainly been the subject of much ridicule, but the fact of the matter remains: I have a height requirement. The average American Caucasian 27-year-old male stands 5’10”. However, the average American woman’s height requirement, according to services such as Match.com is 5’11”. Now, it seems unfair to me that American women, with an average height of 5’3.7” can insist on a man being two inches taller than the American average of 5’9.1” and seven inches taller than themselves. Nonetheless, I consider myself an exception.
I stand a solid 5’7”, somewhere between the 80th and 85th percentiles for American Caucasian 27-year-old women. This is to say, I am tall. I am also in the 26th percentile for weight of Caucasian women my height and age, which is to say, I am thin. A Caucasian American 27-year-old man in the 80th percentile for height would stand 6’0.5”. Therefore, a height requirement of 5’11” for me seems quite generous. It is, after all, an entire inch and a half shorter than the man who is as proportionally tall as I am. The original height requirement of 6’3”, ridiculous though it may sound, was only one inch more demanding than the average American woman’s HR, relatively speaking, though admittedly it had the unfortunate drawback of eliminating all but one percent of the population. An HR of 5’11” on the other hand includes at least 35 times as many men. And I have said nothing about their physical well-being having to match my 26th percentile for weight. Therefore, 5’11” is a totally reasonable expectation for me to have.
Were I to be meeting people on Match.com, where inflation of one’s statistics runs rampant, I would have to stipulate a height requirement of at least 6’1” to find someone who is actually 5’11”. In order not to embarrass this person for having lied about his height, I would be expected to describe myself as “athletic” and “toned.” However, Match.com doesn’t have anyone listing themselves as 6’1” and a speaker of Attic Greek, so it would be silly of me to go looking there, and even sillier to try giving the poor guys who list their height as 5’9” a shot, since invariably, they will show up and be vertically comparable to my students.
OK, you prompted to spout off on the height thing myself: http://blog.spymyshadow.com/life/2006/05/katabasis_and_t.html. Not that I haven't before. Sucks all the way around.
So what you're saying is, you'll only date Caucasians?
I think she's just posting a statistic. It takes a bit of digging around to find data beyond caucasian males.
I kind of don't understand the thing about women always wanting a really tall man. It makes sense...but the fact that it's a deal breaker for a lot of women is a little ridiculous. Granted, you are pretty tall so it's different for you, but the 5'3" women demanding 6' guys needs to end.
Also, the ancient Greek requirement seems, I dunno, unbelievably pretentious. Then again, I'm part of the highly pretentious Pentavirate so I can't really talk.
Personally, I just try to make sure a woman's breast size is in the same percentile as my penis size, and go from there. I write a hell of a Craigslist ad, let me tell you.
how did you go from height-height comparisons to penis-breast? shouldn't it be penis-vagina? if we're talking breasts, i think the comparison will have to be with hand or mouth size.
Wherein I respond to everyone's humorous comments in complete seriousness (which I hope brings to light the inherent humor of the situation):
I posted statistics about Caucasians becuase I am Caucasian and Caucasians are taller than most other ethnicities, so using general population samples seemed like it would compound the problem.
Ancient Greek isn't a requirement, as you can see from the Katabasis Index, which accurately states that I have dated several men since college, none of whom knew a word of it. So it's really less of a dating criterion and more of a pipe dream.
As for breast size, penis size, and vagina size, I came across those statistics too, and briefly pondered the inevitable mismatch (vagina 4", penis 6"), as well as the potential misery of a really poor match.
Michele and I, after some comparing have determined that breast size statistics that go by cup size are worthless, since it seems to us that the number part of one's size has a lot to do with actual size. And most men I've talked to have said they really just want "a handful" anyway.
I cannot spell so please excuse me.
This is an interesting subject you bring up, Christine. (If I may call you that).
I tried internet dating for about 3 months; a few years ago. I found results that you touch upon. Many of the women had just rediculous requirements. Then out of curiousity I brows some male profiles. I found they had rediculous requirments as well.
All women regaurdless of height were searching for men over 6 foot tall. All men regardless of height were searching for women at or under 5 foot tall.
Other factors aside that were included but not limited to: income, body type, education.
After a bit of parusal I found that everyone was searching for a rich, genious, supermodel, with either an ultra petite body for women; or a large muscular body for men.
Lets face some facts: If you are a person like above, the last thing you need is internet dating.
It seems to me that shorter women should leave the taller men for women who are taller.
Now for a crass assumption:
Do you think men who are looking for ultra petiet woman are really looking for a smaller vagina?
Do you think women looking for a very tall man are looking for a larger penis?
Is there any data to support a corelation between height and genital size? Most I have read only shows a loose assassication between the two.
Or maybe I am just nuts.
My main point I guess is:
You have to be realistic in your expectations when internet dating. This would help greatly. Those posting profiles would be less apt to "fudge" thier data if they felt they had a chance of getting their profile looked at; even if they were 5 foot 9 inches tall (male or female). As it stands now, people of that height seem discounted.
Overall I have met much better results just meeting people in my daily outings. As far as physical traits anyway, at least you can see what is out there. Also it allows you to talk to them, see if there is any chemistry there at all.
Internet dating seems so final...
It is just a date we're talking about after all, so is it really nessarcy for the date to fullfill some "perfect mate" shopping list.
Why not just go out? Have a good time, and see what happens.
P.S. I find tall women very attractive.
Just came across this as I was searching for statistics on female breast size. I personally have thought for a long time that in terms of physical attractiveness criteria, height in men is pretty much the direct equivalence of breast size in women. I'm going to argue semi-facetiously that because on the whole men don't care much about height, a woman's height is irrelevant to how tall they can expect their man to be. So the fact that you are in the 85th height percentile doesn't entitle you to a man in the 85th height percentile. Instead you should look at the percentile for your breast size. If you have average-sized breasts, expect an averagely-tall man. If you have smaller-than-average breasts, expect a shorter-than-average man.
Interestingly, confounding arguments about human nature and evolutionary psychology, not every society has a "man taller" bias. Recent research in Gambia indicates that marriages occur between shorter men and taller women at a rate which is exactly what you would expect by chance, given that men tend to be taller than women.
I have stumbled upon your blog and find this topic rather interesting. Apparently there is scientific research underpinning your findings:
Salska et al., Conditional mate preferences: factors influencing
preferences for height, Personality and individual differences, 44, pp. 203-215, 2008
This research finds that I have no chance with women at all, being just 5'5''. In fact men shorter than 5'7'' will have a hard time because less than 0.1% of women would find them acceptable. An that is far from being attractive.
I am actually quite good looking, have a very proportional athletic body, I can make women laugh, and I am smart (with a PhD). However, I've been out on more than 20 dates from match.com and everybody claims that they feel no chemistry. Sometimes I can recall some signals that they are interested, (showing the wrists, touching themselves, and their hair, etc) but apparently nobody wants to go on a second date.
And this is especially true for petit woman who are shorter than me. They demand very tall men. They don't even reply to my mails. So my options are limited, and start to become a '40 year old vigin', like in the movie with the same title.
Women's height requirements is such BS. I understand there are requirements for both men and women but with the height requirement with women it's the men "must" or "have to be" be this height or all the other men that don't meet that height is just throw away even if the men are great, attractive etc. For so many women its height height height height PERIOD!!
Also what is the f****** deal with the men must have to be over 6' or taller just skip over the 5' range completely and our men has JUST HAS TO BE ABSOLTUELY NO EQUIVICATIONS PERIOD 6 feet or taller!! It's like a women could be talking to a great guy might not be 6 feet or taller but oh wait according to HER since he's not tall but is attractive she's going to throw him away just because of his HEIGHT GIVE US A F****** BREAK!!! Augh GET THE F*** OVER IT WOMEN HEIGHT CANNOT BE THAT IMPORTANT!!!
Continued.... It's funny how women on the height requirement always counter with well why don't men date heavier women. Well it's an open and shut arugument because height there is SIMPLY NO ARGUMENT height is height is height and CANNOT F****** BE CHANGED PERIOD!!!
On to the weight issue now there is an argument that can be made and that is F****** weight CAN BE LOST if that person wants. So yes some men will date women that are a tad on the heavy side with the notion that WEIGHT can obvisously be lost or gained!!!
Ok also women have this weird thinking that dating a taller guy is just AUTOMATICALLY A PROTECTOR AND HE IS GOING TO PROTECT YOU FROM EVERYTHING!! Ok well shit then I'll never forget this statement a high school teacher said way back in the day some 17 yrs ago about women dating tall men. The statement was well then WHO IS GOING TO PROTECT YOU FROM THAT TALL GUY YOUR WITH????? It's just a TRUE fact that men are STRONGER AND FASTER. SO WHAT'S GOING TO STOP THAT TALL GUY THAT SO MANY WOMEN WANT OR FOR THAT MATTER DEMAND FROM UNLEASHING AND HURTING YOU???? Answer=NOTHING
Women just don't THINK about the consequences about dating a tall man all they think about is oh he is so tall so immediately he MUST be the genius, can always protect me and shelter me. But oh no no no he would never hurt meeeeee. What the F*** is going to stop him huh???
Also what is this SO SO tall guy going to protect you from??? The boggie man??? Are you and your so tall guy always going to get into fights??? Women constantly say he is gong to protect me. Well GROWN UP MEN DO NOT F****** GET INTO FIGHTS WE GROWN UP MEN ARE GROWN UPS!!! When grown up men get into fights we men see them as LOOSERS, Childish loosers that are the douchbags that always likes to cause trouble, always is the drunk PUNK and the loner that sits by himself at the end of the bar complaining about how his life is so miserable....
Hahahaha.. really, with women it's not about height, or any other spec for that matter. Women are creatures of feeling. It's all about how you make her feel. Control her emotions and you have her.
"Ok well shit then I'll never forget this statement a high school teacher said way back in the day some 17 yrs ago about women dating tall men. The statement was well then WHO IS GOING TO PROTECT YOU FROM THAT TALL GUY YOUR WITH????? It's just a TRUE fact that men are STRONGER AND FASTER. SO WHAT'S GOING TO STOP THAT TALL GUY THAT SO MANY WOMEN WANT OR FOR THAT MATTER DEMAND FROM UNLEASHING AND HURTING YOU???? Answer=NOTHING"
So what are you saying here? You're saying tall and short men are capable of beating the crap out of women correct, because the stronger faster thing right? And you say nothing is going to stop the tall guy. This is a good point but this may lead to why girls want a good tall guy. The tall guy can protect them from the shorter guy in this way of thinking. But as you say men no matter how short or tall can still get violent and hurt the other sex. If there were no tall then who would stop the short basically? Tall guy's probably don't have as much of a chip on their shoulder, which helps. Napoleon syndrome for instance (Little angry man syndrome) People that show this are pretty overprotective and do more damage. Calmness would have probably helped your cause a little more and not so much cursing by the way. Lets each try to promote our traits not rain on the others. I'm a taller guy but I'm the kind of guy that wants to be cool with everyone. I was your height once too remember that;)
I could care less on the tall or short thing and I get what you're saying, it's not fair. Women want what they want just like guys. Getting mad won't solve much. I think the thing that matters most is how you treat a woman and if you let little things like height get in the way nothing good will come. If you are truly good then the right person for you will come. Why would anyone want anyone that goes off trait alone. Live above them mentally ha ha.