Months ago, nay, nearly a year and a half now, I began a social experiment at the prodding of my new friend, and then roommate, Matt. Matt is a professional model who spent much of his time on blind date chatting with hapless gold-diggers whom he would never grace with his presence. I never understood how he endured, let alone chose, to read the horrible messages he got from such wannabe porn stars. I said as much, and Matt, much like most of the people I know, being wont to prod me towards dating someone, suggested I try the electronic route, after all I would be free to screen the losers. I made some witty retort about them all being losers and then advanced the following claim: if I made a profile replete with literary allusions, that was completely forthcoming about my stalwart love of Aristotle, and was heavily salted with words most of those men had never heard--a profile I suspected would convey an accurate sense of what they would be in for--not a one would email me. He countered that if I put up a picture, any picture, I would be inundated.
This is not because Matt thought me particularly attractive. Let us recall that he ran in the international circles of haute couture and regarded me as somewhere in the neighborhood of cute but homely (and probably pudgy). It was his claim that men would respond to a picture, any picture, of a woman not totally disfigured. I could not believe an entire half of the species to be so wholly different from myself and took his wager.
Matt was proved overwhelmingly right within 24 hours, and so began my involvement with electronic dating services. Within a few short days, the whole of the other sex plummeted in my esteem. Thinking it was not possible that BlindDateTV.com provided a representative sample of bachelordom, I chanced a look at the singles on Match.com. I repeated the experiment with much the same profile as before, and achieved similar though less profane and sorrier results. Luckily for you, I saved the emails.
Yesterday, with so much time on my hands, I revived my little experiment, and this afternoon harvested its first fruits.
I received an email from "creationpossible" who signed with a real email address at "bagginsend.com." I heartily recommend checking out the "professional services" section. It's my favorite.
Posted by christine at February 23, 2004 06:59 PMProfessional services? I can't find it! Does this mean they're calling me unprofessional?
Posted by: dianna at February 23, 2004 10:55 PMGiven that I've been listed under the heading of "Hordes of Nerdy, Nerdy Losers", I'd sure love to know how I qualified. "-) And as for my "professional services"... well I suppose I'm at fault for being a jack of all trades and a master of none. You've got me on that one. Garbs of the gipsy lifestyle.
Posted by: creationpossible at March 17, 2005 07:23 PMcreationpossible--
Having never actually met you, I make no assertions about your loser-ness or non-loser-ness. However, your website makes clear the full extent of your nerdom.
1. You must click on a door to enter your site.
2. The door is surrounded with religious symbols.
3. You then have to click 'enter' to enter the site a second time.
4. You name your site after a place in The Lord of the Rings (a mistake so universally acknowledged as to be a running gag on the Simpsons).
5. You use punctuation marks in your web design, as though we are still BBSing with ASCII.
-and- wait for it...
6. You offer your services as a web designer.
I'm sure you are a great guy, exactly the sort of fit, sensitive, intelligent guy every girl is looking for. But not me. So good luck, and get yourself a gmail account.
Posted by: christine at April 8, 2005 12:29 AMlord of the rings.. to kill a mockingbird..
perhaps we sympathize with aspects of those experiences or intrigues that have shaped us eh Scout?
i'd assert that someone who's obviously read their share of books might better know than to judge one entirely by the decorations of cover art alone.
who really takes the time to know anyone in this mass-consumer, instant-gratification society anyway? it seems to me people are finding ample satisfaction relating to their own virtual personalities and the ever changing whims thereof .
sure, we can do our research:
https://keagyportfolio.cementhorizon.com/Home.html
http://www.envirosports.com/results/event/1207/results.php?bib=164&p=3&ag=&oa=
http://www.coolrunning.com/bin/webglimpse?pathinfo=%2Fhome%2Fcoolrun%2Fcr-www%2Fresults%2F01&age=500000&adv_year=%2Fhome%2Fcoolrun%2Fcr-www%2Fresults%2F01&query=CHRISTINE+KEAGY+&maxfiles=50&maxlines=50&maxchars=200000&event_byname_go2.x=18&event_byname_go2.y=1
https://eloise.cementhorizon.com/gallery/misc_2004/Christine_the_Indignant?full=1
http://www.evite.com/pages/invite/viewInvite.jsp?event=PXJSIUNGKRPPIKZRLRYZ
but does this authorize judgment before any semblance of a good old-fashioned face to face?
who knows, perhaps there was a reason for your "experiment" after all.. i certainly learned a bit when i ran my own